Three Cheers For Walmart
Posted: July 29th, 2011 | Author: Dr. Bill Stillwell | No Comments »My wife hollered for me to come see what was on
the news this morning. before I’d even had a chance
to get my bearings. I thought this had to be another
natural disaster, like a big earthquake, or tsunami, but
as it turns out, it was a story about Walmart kicking a
woman in a string bikini out of their store in Eugene,
Oregon.
Now, I thought when I heard the words "string bikini,"
that this might be a publicity stunt, with a smokin’
young hottie, put on by a local DJ, trying to make a
name for himself. But nothing could have been further
from the truth.
We have all heard the phrase, "a sight for sore eyes."
Well…this was a sight where you might have been
better off blind. And calling this woman, "a woman,"
was really stretching it, although it is probably scientifically
correct.
There she was, in all her unfettered glory, with a
shaved head, studs, tattoos covering what the string
bikini did not, with cut off shorts, made out of old red
sweat pants, and a big black cast on one leg. She
would have finished "in the money" at an ugly contest.
Walmart employees told her to put on a shirt, or take
her leave. She then started a media circus, claiming
that her rights had been violated. By now the incident
has surely gone viral.
I say, three cheers for Walmart! Hip! Hip! Hooray! and
all that. As far as I’m concerned, they should have
planted a size 13 work boot right in the middle of her
ample posterior. I wouldn’t punch air holes in the top
of a pickle jar, if she were stuck inside.
A little twist on the Golden Rule is in order here.
"If you act like a jackass…we’ll be sure and treat you
like one."
But right now, I’m sure there is a trial lawyer who is
more than ready to spring into action to protect the
rights of Little Miss Dubbly Uggly. Tomorrow morning
will surely bring Gloria Allred in front of the lights
and cameras, casting Walmart as a giant oppressor,
for tossing an idiot out of one of its stores.
It’s obviously a case of not having enough omega-3′s.
Which is a real shame, when you leave that close to
the Pacific Ocean. But, if you can’t get it in Eugene,
you can always order it here:
I’ll be back tomorrow with more.
With my best wishes for your optimum health,
Dr. Bill
Favorite Formulas
816 Turtle River Court
Plant City, FL 33567
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