Obama Surrenders To The Borg

Posted: April 6th, 2009 | Author: Dr. Bill | No Comments »

I was sitting in my easy chair Friday morning with a couple of newspapers, trying to enjoy a quiet breakfast when I noticed B.O. speaking in Strausborg, France. Later, he had a “town hall meeting” with the huddled masses, yearning to breathe free.

It was the speech that was troubling. In several instances, standing on foreign soil, B.O. delivered putdowns of his own country. “America has been arrogant, dismissive, and derisive…” and on and on he went, sucking up to a group of losers that don’t have the stomach to make the changes needed in their own countries, so that they can really be free.

B.O. went to Europe hoping that all the other countries would pledge 2% of the gross domestic product to eradicate the downfall in the free market that we’re experiecing at the moment, and to ask for help in Afghanistan. The answer was… NO!

Well…the French are pledging 5000 support troops, and the rest are pledging zip, zilch, nada thing. B.O. should get used to this now, because it will only get harder from here on out. What he will find out is that when you pledge to join the Borg, you don’t get to speak out about who should be leading the parade anymore.

This should be important to him, because he clearly enjoys leading the parade. But the Borg is a collective, and according to the rules, anybody can be the leader on any given day. B.O. still sees the world throught the eyes of a Columbia student, where all that B.S. about buying the world a Coke is still believable.

Tomorrow, we’ll be announcing our second product here, and B.O. and his advisers should definitely combine it with the first, my Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula. Most of them are so brain and body weary that they’re going to need everything I release for the next year to try and right their ship, but we’ll just stick to the basics for now.

Where the Powerhouse Omega Formula deals with laying the foundation for your new and improved self, the newest kid on the block will deal with your motor, the heart.

Heart disease is running rampant in America at the moment, and my new product will be the equivalent of a super fuel that will get your motor running at an optimum level.

I’m going to have to hire a marketing representative in Washington D.C. He or she probably would only have to work a 2 or 3 square mile area to make a handsome living, getting all these congressmen and Senators what they so desperately need to improve their mental and physical health.

I might have to double or triple the dosages to unlock some of those brains, though.

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