New York Times Food Writer Wants To Tax Your Diet
Posted: July 27th, 2011 | Author: Dr. Bill Stillwell | No Comments »This morning, while perusing a news site, I came upon
an article by Mark Bittman, a food writer for the New York
Times. In the interest of full disclosure, I have three of
his cookbooks. They aren’t in my Top Ten, but they are
what I would call serviceable.
Bittman has also been on television a lot and had a show
on the Food Network, where he traveled all over and cooked
with any number of celebrated chefs. There are two episodes
I remember pretty clearly. The first was with Mario Batali
and the episode was filmed in Tuscany. Batali took Bittman
to the local butcher, where they picked up four giant
Porterhouse steaks, which they were to grill over a large,
open fire. Batali took two of the steaks and Bittman did
the same. Batali seasoned his steaks with sea salt and
put them on to grill. Bittman used all kinds of stuff to season
his steaks and then said he had to make a super special
sauce, to go with his steaks.
"Sauce?" said Batali, who was quite amused. "You’re going
to put sauce on some of the finest beef in the world?"
"Yes," said Bittman, "It raises the flavor of the meat
tremendously."
Batali rolled his eyes.
They watched the meat grill and turned it. I should say that
Batali turned the meat once and Bittman fiddled with his
every 30 seconds or so. Batali smiled as Bittman fiddled.
Then Bittman started on "the sauce," which turned out to
be equal parts of butter and soy sauce. This really got
Batali rolling. "Why?" he said to Bittman, "would you put
butter and soy on this meat?"
Bittman insisted that it would improve the meat. Batali
took his meat off the grill. Bittman continued cooking his.
Bittman then had Batali taste his "sauce." Batali took some
on a spoon and said, "Hmm."
In another episode, Bittman tried to tell Daniel Boulud
(one of the Top Ten chefs in the world), how to cook a
pork loin. The look on Boulud’s face was priceless, as
Bittman fumbled around, trying to help. What Bittman
was trying to do was rank amateurism and finally,
Boulud just took over.
Lately, Bittman has become more and more Krugmanesque
(after his colleague, Paul (the Marxist) Krugman, who shoots
arrows of vitriol and hate, on a daily basis).
Bittman’s latest salvo is to have the government decide
what is healthy and tax everything that isn’t. The government
would do this as an agent of "the public good."
He goes on: "Public Health is the role of the government and
our diet is right up there, with any other public responsibility you
can name, from water treatment to mass transit."
I guess we’ll just have to raise taxes, after all.
We’ll obviously need another agency and czar, with plenty of
secret agents to police your diet.
Let’s sic them on Obama first, taking away his burgers, fries,
Coke and milkshakes. Then, we can close Georgia Browns’
in Washington, where Michelle and her tribe get down on ribs,
fried chicken, mac and cheese and peach cobbler.
Then, we start on federal employees, where some of the
world’s biggest Lardassians work.
Then, we hit the New York Times, along with every health agency
in the country. We ferret out everybody who isn’t healthy,
starting with R.W. "Johnny" Apple, one of the fattest guys
ever to roll down the street in Washington. Bittman’s
predecessor at the Times, Frank Bruni, was another fat
bastard.
Then, we could have an old fashioned book burning in
front of the Times headquarters. Bring all your Mark Bittman
books and watch them go up in flames.
Someday, long after we’re gone, somebody in the liberal
camp will realize that the government doesn’t do anything
well. In the meantime, stop buying Bittman’s books.
Shaping up is a personal decision. Let’s keep it that way.
I think I’m going to write a song…the title would be…
"Gettin’ Healthy On Government Cheese." Or maybe
a book, "101 Ways To Use Government Cheese."
1) Stuff 5 pound loaf in Bittman’s pie hole.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more.
With my best wishes for your optimum health,
Dr. Bill
Favorite Formulas
816 Turtle River Court
Plant City, FL 33567
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