Navy SEALs Now Stationed At Disney

Posted: April 24th, 2009 | Author: Dr. Bill | No Comments »

This story was forwarded to me this afternoon and it made me laugh out loud. It came without any attribution, so I don’t know who to thank.

In an attempt to keep Disneyland’s famous “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride hip and up to date, Walt Disney CEO, Robert Iger, has enlisted the help of the U.S. Navy and stationed three Navy SEAL snipers inside the treacherous ride.

“We want our visitors to feel totally safe,” Iger said. “That’s why I have authorized the snipers to shoot any pirate threatening the lives of our guests.”

“A 5 x 7 photograph of the incident will be available upon exiting the ride for just $9.99,” he added.

Disney prides itself on promoting a family friendly atmosphere, which is why it includes such heart warming displays of terrorism…like drowning a man in a well, or looting a town and then, burning it to the ground, while…pirates get drunk and sing songs about pirates getting drunk.

On the ride, the Navy snipers will be stationed at a point just after the pirates in jail lure a dog with a bone…but before the fat guy gets drunk with a pig in the mud. Only one incident has been reported so far: Goofy tackled a 7 year old guest and stole his cotton candy.

“One shot…Blackjack,” said the sniper, who then disappeared into a mound of mud.

The actor who played Goofy will be buried inside Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride on Tuesday.

Now remember, the story isn’t true.

But it is funny.

Luckily you don’t need a sniper team in order to acquire my newest creation, Dr. Bill’s Heart Charging Formula.

The Heart Charging Formula will put a little skip in your giddyup. That’s something one of my old mentors used to say back when I was a fledgling surgeon. When he saw me finishing a 48 hour shift, he would smile and say, “Billy boy…you look like you could use a little skip in your giddyup.” My laugh always eased the pain in my legs, from all that standing.

If you feel like you’ve lost a step, my Heart Charging Formula is just what you need to get back on track.

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