My New Year Resolutions

Posted: December 27th, 2010 | Author: Dr. Bill Stillwell | No Comments »

2011 is sneaking up on us faster than a fat man at a free barbecue
…so I thought I would send out my own resolutions early.

I resolve that: I will never again eat a large portion of broccoli
rabe before going to a public function.

I resolve that: I will not watch, read, or listen to anything
involving vampires, or the undead.

I resolve that: I will read all the technical installation manuals
…if I can find them.

I resolve that: I will try to remember to replace the gas nozzle,
before driving away from the gas station.

I resolve that: I will spend less than one hour a day on the
internet, even though there are no clocks on porn sites.

I resolve that: I will become “greener” and conserve water…by
bathing less.

I resolve that: I will try to stay within ten miles per hour of the
posted speed limit.

I resolve that: I will save exploited child textile workers, by
going “commando.”

I resolve that: That I will not eat candy on Halloween, even though
I can’t remember anything longer than three months.

I resolve that: I will not spray any vegans with deoderant for at
least two weeks.

There you go…I have that out of the way. I intend to work on these
resolutions for about as long as I do every year.

https://www.favoriteformulas.com?awt_l=GnZNU&awt_m=1cYwY3zxeIz2rW

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

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