I Couldn’t Watch It
Posted: August 24th, 2011 | Author: Dr. Bill Stillwell | No Comments »A three decades plus of practicing medicine, even
a doctor can be horrified by some situations. Yesterday,
while doing some late night channel surfing, I stumbled
while doing some late night channel surfing, I stumbled
upon "The World’s Fattest Man." I was so blown away
by what I saw in six or seven minutes that I forgot
which channel it was on.
Now, I have seen some fat people in my time. Up
until two years ago, I saw one every day, when I looked
in the mirror. (I knew I should have bought that "trick"
mirror when I had a chance.)
There were folks I couldn’t operate on, because they
too fat. (A knee replacement doesn’t do much good
if you weigh 400 pounds…you’ll just blow it out again.)
But this guy…OMG!
I had to tune out when they started examining FOLDS
of flesh. They even found some "things," in between
the folds, which I don’t even want to talk about. The
guy weighed more than half a ton. Half a ton! The
human body is just not designed for that kind of abuse.
Closer to home, I was in a store here, and there was
a rather rotund woman with a friend, who was somewhat
smaller than the former, but still hefty, in the aisle I wanted
to go down. The Big Un started complaining about her
ankles, saying, "I don’t know what it is, but my ankles
hurt like Hell."
Right then, the Devil appeared on my left shoulder,
saying, "What part of "fat" doesn’t she understand?
Tell her she’s a big fat slob and that’s why her ankles
hurt. Go on…tell her!"
I swatted the Devil away and reversed course, deciding
to approach from a diferent direction. I cut around, and
got to where I needed to go. The two women were still
in the aisle, but I could get what I wanted. I found it, and
was putting it in the cart, when the two started in my
direction. The Big Un was still yammering about her
ankles. The Smaller Un says, "Have you ever tried those
…compression socks?"
I turned my cart as fast as I could because I was going
to burst out laughing, and I didn’t want them to think I
was laughing at them. (Rule # 1 of the Jungle: Don’t do
anything to piss off a hippopotamus.)
Compression socks! OMG!
Let me make this as simple as possible.
When you are overweight…you put a lot of stress on
your body. Every part of your body gets taxed to the
max. Your heart works harder, your brain works harder,
your lungs, liver, kidneys, gall bladder, pancreas, spleen,
intestines…they are all on overtime, because you are
are not treating them right.
So your body starts sending messages…like pain.
If I had a dollar for every fatso that told me their
feet, ankles, knees, and hips hurt…I’d be sunning
myself in Barbados, waiting for my valet to tell me
my yacht was ready to roll. I’d roll to my right, pick
up my captain’s hat, adjust my shades, and be off
to the nearest casino to play baccarat.
If you suffer from a plethora of pork, you are in
need of a bovine adjustment. You need to get
with my program, and start working on being Slim
Shady, as opposed to Portable Shady.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more.
With my best wishes for your optimum health,
Dr. Bill
Favorite Formulas
816 Turtle River Court
Plant City, FL 33567
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