A Funny Story From A Subscriber

Posted: October 15th, 2010 | Author: Dr. Bill Stillwell | No Comments »

This is for all of us over 50, which I’m guessing most (or at least
many) of us are. I thought you would get a kick out of it, like I
did.

“When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I
ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music,
takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I
signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids,
their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate
with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as
simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter,
Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck,
Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and
every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of
everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.
I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage
in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday, because they say I
get lost every now and then, going over to the grocery store or
library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue
tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it
once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife
and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to
take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.

I mean, the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady
inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run
into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say,
“Re-calc-ul-ating.”

You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could
barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell
me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn
instead, well, it was not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of
the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone
as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the
cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I
still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once
and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking
bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up
every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could
settle on something themselves, but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?”
every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of
those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never
remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I
just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their
turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a
lot.”

https://www.favoriteformulas.com?awt_l=GnZNU&awt_m=1fnl.SrusIz2rW

Have a good weekend.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

PS. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow
you to forward it to those who are.

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