A Kick In The Ass Is A Step Forward
Posted: January 13th, 2012 | Author: Dr. Bill Stillwell | No Comments »I just read an email from a guy who is complaining that
his wife is forcing him to get in better shape. In the letter,
he admits he is in pretty bad shape, being 80+ pounds
heavier than when they were married. He has high blood
pressure, his heart races, and his blood sugar is rising
to diabetic levels. "She used to be nice about it," he
whines, but now, "she is not buying his favorite foods
and she gave his favorite chair to a charity."
Boo hoo hoo!
The late, great Johnny Carson once said that "You can
get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with
a kind word alone."
This guy ought to be thankful that his wife cares about
his health. Obviously, he hasn’t caught on yet, but he’s
not getting any sympathy from me.
A couple of decades ago, I had an Uncle who liked to
eat and drink like half a dozen men put together. You
couldn’t go in a bar, or restaurant, anywhere, where
everybody didn’t know him. In addition, he was a big
tipper and he could get things other people couldn’t.
One day, he was in his favorite bar and he couldn’t get
his breath. The bar owner put him in his car and drove
him straight to Dr. Harrigan’s, who had been the family
physician for 35 years.
My uncle was in Dr. Harrigan’s office for about half an
hour. Then, they both showed up in the waiting room,
all smiles. He got in the bar owner’s car, his name was
Hartman, I believe, and Hartman drove him home.
The next day, word had spread about the incident and
Uncle Jack was asked what Dr. Harrigan had said. Uncle
Jack smiled and said, "He said that I could keep drinking
and be dead in six months, or I could stop…and live another
twenty, or thirty years."
Uncle Jack went "cold turkey" and lived another 24 years.
Years after the incident, he said to me, "It was a simple
choice, laddie. I didn’t want to die. I loved Scotch, but I
loved being alive more."
So the advice I would give this whiner is simple. Get off
your fat ass and listen to your wife. She can read the
handwriting on the wall, even if you can’t see it. I’ve got
a few things here that can help you too, if you aren’t too
lazy to use a computer.
When I was young, a big fat guy in the neighborhood died
and I remember my Dad telling us that there wasn’t a casket
big enough to bury him. He told us that they had to bury
him in a piano box. I don’t know if that’s true, or not, but if
this guy doesn’t change his tune, maybe they’ll have to find
one for him, too.
Come join thousands of highly satisfied customers.
With my best wishes for your optimum health,
Dr. Bill
Favorite Formulas
816 Turtle River Court
Plant City, FL 33567
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