those health care scammers in jail.

   Somebody failed to get the message to Obama first
   leftenant, Nancy Pelosi, who is actually more powerful than
   a speeding locomotive. Queen Nancy is dispensing waivers
   from Obamacare, like free tickets to a Grateful Dead concert
   in her home district of San Fransisco. In fact, 20% of all the
   waivers granted by the Savior’s minions are in Pelosi’s
   Northern California district.

   Pelosi is a lifelong thief of the public treasury, who learned
   the game from her father, in Baltimore. She can count among
   her many abuses of power and influence that her family vineyard,
   a $25 million dollar a year operation, is the only union exempt
   vineyard in the state of California. You see, having union help
   would render her vineyard uncompetitive, when going to market.
   But of course, unions are required for any other vineyard. Daddy
   taught Nancy that everything has a price and that’s why she
   made Caesar Chavez pay to get her support, to unionize the
   California wine industry. Laws are only for those stupid enough
   to actually believe in them.

   Now Nancy is handing out healthcare waivers to fancy schmancy
   restaurants, nightclubs and even high dollar day spas. This
   amounts to bribing voters and no one who is getting the waivers
   is willing to talk on the record. San Fransisco is the Kingdom of
   Government Largesse, home to thousands of tax exempt corporations
   and businesses that exist, because no one checks up on where the
   money goes.

   Most of it goes to limousine riding do-gooders like Miss Nancy,
   who like to chat each other up at fancy charity events, designed to
   bilk even more money out of a trusting and unsuspecting public.

   The reality is that San Fransisco is becoming a public toilet,
   littered with bums and freeloaders of every type and it is a
   sanctuary city for illegal aliens. Nancy and her limousine lib
   friends cry at every opportunity for mo’ money, mo’ money,
   mo’ money. The fact that the money never reaches where they
   claim it goes doesn’t matter. Not to give them mo’ money
   makes you a cruel, heartless bastard, who has no regard for
   his fellow man.

   Yada…yada…yada.

   These are the same people who pay $6 for a cup of coffee
   and complain about the price of gas. Business owners should
   remember that once the government starts singling out
   companies for special taxes, they are that much closer to
   yours.

   But if you’re a high end eatery, nightclub, or day spa in
   San Fransisco…you deserve a waiver. That’s where the
   Queen eats, parties and gets…I wonder if the day spa
   gives her a "happy ending?"

    Lord…I apologize….

    If you’ve had trouble having a "happy ending," you might
    want to check out my MegaRex formula. If you’re a man
    over 40, you may want to know that it isn’t just you having
    a…bit of a problem. 50% of all men over 40 suffer from
    mild to serious erectile dysfunction. "EeeDee," as old Bob
    Dole used to say. My formula is 100% natural, with no
    adverse side effects…like blindness, heart attack…or death.

    You can get it here:

    http://www.favoriteformulas.com/enhancement

    I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

    With my best wishes for your optimum health,

    Dr. Bill

    My initial idea, I got after reading about widespread
    famines in China, under the Fearless Leader. In Rocky
    and Bullwinkle, Fearless Leader was a Rooshkie, but in
    China, Fearless Leader was Mao Tse Tung, or Mao Ding
    Dong, as I like to call him.

    Many liberals are enamored with Mao Ding Dong and his
    Little Red Book. They think he was a true peasant hero,
    who showed the world "the way." I thought some of this had
    died out over the years, but I was wrong. The same nut
    bags who think Obama is divine, or a savior, in the same
    mold, had a precursor in Mao.

    The story they don’t tell about the great transformation
    (which never happened), is that 50 to 60 million Chinese
    died during Mao’s reign. Our mortal enemy, Hitler, was a
    poor third in deaths, behind Mao and his frenemy, Uncle
    Joe (Stalin). Uncle Joe sent 25-35 million on a permafrost
    nap, while old Adolf did in "only" 8-12 million.

    Both Mao and Stalin used food as a political weapon. Both
    of them knew that their policies would not work, because
    they didn’t have enough resources to make them viable.
    So, in order to have a better chance at success, they decided
    they had to eliminate people.

    Stalin did it first, simply taking all the food from specific areas,
    leaving the people to starve to death. He didn’t have a specific
    system; it really amounted to who he was miffed with, at the
    time. And that changed from day to day.

    Mao sold the food that was produced in China to Eastern
    Europe and Russia for cash, leaving his own people to starve.
    This starvation went on for almost 30 years. Many people
    in China today remember not eating anything but rice for
    decades. No meat, no fruit, no chicken, no seafood, no
    vegetables.

    Meanwhile, Mao Ding Dong and his traveling commie horde
    ate like Orson Wells on a binge. You name it, they ate it.
    Mao had his cook make huge dinners, so he could pick out
    what he wanted from a vast selection. Many historians say
    he ate better than the old Emperor he was supposed to be
    replacing.

    An Asian comedienne told the joke, "My mother used to tell
    me, eat your rice, children in America starving." That’s funny.
    But imagine eating rice every day, for ten years or longer. I’d
    be willing to wager we wouldn’t have an obesity problem in
    this country at all. Oh…we’d still have problems, but obesity
    wouldn’t be one of them.

    That’s the Mao diet.

    Fortunately, our Fearless Leader is not Mao Ding Dong. He
    is still a couple of meats shy of a good hoagie, but you’d
    still buy him, after comparison shopping with Mao and old
    Uncle Joe. (This doesn’t mean there won’t be a better choice
    in 2012)

 

    But we have to eat now and food is still abundant
    here. Come to think of it, there’s more food in Russia and
    China these days, because everybody (but liberals) knows
    that five year plans and cultural revolutions don’t put KFC on the
    corner.

    So in order to slim down, you have to choose to eliminate
    a few things from your diet. That’s a lot better than the Mao
    diet. If you don’t think so, try eating plain white rice every day
    for a while. That should make what you need to do look easy.

    I’ll even help you along. You can find out how I slimmed down
    right here.

    http://www.favoriteformulas.com/numberonefatlosssecret

    I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

    With my best wishes for your optimum health,

    Dr. Bill

 

   and made him a "stinger." He told Dad he only put a touch of

   booze in itand besides, he was celebrating getting out of jail.

   My Dad didn’t know that a "stinger" was 100% booze.
   When he came through the front door, he had three cigars
   in his pocket and one in his mouth. He went and sat in the

   lazy boy and told some of the best stories I ever heard. My

   mother refered to these as "whiskey talk."

   The thing my father said during his uninterrupted brilliance
   was that failing in the bar business meant you had to be a
   complete and utter dunce. He said that when the government
   handed you a liquor license, it was pretty much the same
   thing as handing you the plates money was printed with.

 

   If you failed, there could only be a couple of reasons. The first I have
   already mentioned. The second was you developed a fondness
   for what you were supposed to be selling. The third was developing

   a fondness for the help, which was closely related to numbers one

   and two.

   Nevertheless, a number of bars folded in the old neighborhood in which
   I grew up. 

   I got in the diet business by accident. First of all, a real accident,
   that ended my surgical career, and then, after dropping 60 pounds
   by using my own plan. I never envisioned becoming Nutri System,
   which, by the way, has the most horrible tasting food ever to cross
   these lips, or Jenny Craig. I just wanted people to know that they
   can lose weight and keep it off. The second part is actually more
   important than the first.

   The reason the diet business is so successful is that 98% of all
   who lose weight fail to keep it off. There are a host of reasons
   for this, one of the primary ones being the amount of sugar, or
   sugar substitutes, in diet programs. Whether we want to admit it or
   not, we are a nation of sugar addictsand 99.99% of all diet programs
   don’t address this issue. Which is why the folks at Ediets.com are
   filthy rich.

   I became a doctor because I wanted to help people achieve better
   health. I still feel that way today and that is why I’m in this business.
   I didn’t sign on for making, or recommending, that people eat cardboard
   meals and yoyo back and forth with their weight, each time trying a

   new scheme.

   I’m going to stick to what I know works and I know that, because I
   am a disciple of my own program. I’ve done everything I recommend
   and I did all the exercises at age 60 to 62 (and I still do…), so don’t think

   you’re too old to get the lard off.

   Both my Dad and his friend Big Phil left way too early. They were
   both big men that everybody enjoyed. They should still be making
   people laugh and smile today.

   When you’re carrying too much lard, like my Dad, Big Phil and even
   myself, you’re a heart attack waiting to happen. Just keep this in mind.

   In over 50% of heart attacks, the first sign is death. We have all heard
   the refrain "He was never sick a day in his life." Don’t believe it, because
   it’s nonsense.

   The biggest, or greatest thing you can do for yourself is to get your
   weight where it should be, which is a lot lower than where it is.

   You can start here:

   http://www.favoriteformulas.com/numberonefatlosssecret

   I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

   With my best wishes for your optimum health,

   Dr. Bill

There is a reason protein has been called the "food of the gods."

Proteins, such as beef, pork, lamb, turkey, chicken, fish, and

select protein powders, contain the amino acid tyrosine, a

precursor of norepinephrine and dopamine. Eating more of this 

amino acid causes increased production of these two very powerful

chemical neurotransmitters which   produce increased alertness in 

the mind and body. 

 

Eating protein also keeps your blood sugar level steady, your

energy level high, and helps you to burn more blubberooski, which

keeps you from becoming a Lardassian, and a menace to your own

health.

 

When you eat protein with vegetables that carry a low glycemic

load, such as spinach, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, broccoli,

broccoli rabe, kale, or other greens, even green beans, you are

complementing the protein you are taking into your system with

complex carbohydrtaes and giving yourself a very real energy boost.

 

You are also activating the fat burning system in your body.

 

When you eat a lot of crapola, such as pasta, bread, almost all

cereals, rice, taters, and such…you are taking your body on

a…downer…man. The effect is the same as if you were taking a

sleep inducing drug.

 

Why?

 

The crapola, though it has a thousand different names, is seen by

your body as one specific thing: SUGAR.

 

This makes it very easy to process, which in your case, is not a

good thing at all. The faster the crapola is processed, the faster

your body is releasing sugar into your system, and the faster your

body has to release massive amounts of insulin, to keep up. Insulin

takes the sugar and sends it to your liver, fat, and muscle cells,

which are already full, so all the excess is stored as…FAT. All

that sugar clearing, and storing, causes the body and mind to be

very sluggish and lethargic.

 

AND THEN…AND THEN…your body sends out a very bad signal. 

I’M HUNGRY! 

I’M HUNGRY! 

I MUST EAT NOW!

 

This is "The Lardassian Cycle" (newly named by yours truly.)

 

So you eat poorly…which triggers a cycle, in which you continue

to eat poorly…and your body is constantly sending out wacky

signals that make you fat. Or fatter.

 

You have to get control of your diet…and stop The Lardassian

Cycle. The only way you can do that is by eating wholesome food,

which is food that is not prepackaged, or in a container. The

consumption of real food steadies your blood sugar and insulin

response, and keeps you bright eyed and bushy tailed.

 

http://www.favoriteformulas.com/numberonefatlosssecret

 

I’ll be back with more tomorrow.

 

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

 

Dr. Bill

 

 

 

   Perrenial pet pig Rosie O’Donnell has weighed in,
   saying O’Sammy didn’t get "due process." I guess she
   trying to say that we shot a genocidal maniac, with a
   long track record, without hearing him speak in his own
   defense. Thanks, Rosie, have another biscuit.

   There are plenty of others weighing in, too. I guess they
   think they had better speak now, or there is never going
   to be another chance for them to get close to a microphone.

   Sheryl (One Sheet) Crow thought she ought to weigh in,
   saying, "The first thing I thought was, I felt the same way
   everyone did, mixed emotions about the fact that we
   killed someone. We know that killing is not right. In this
   particular instance, we have such an association with this
   person for having dealt us such a heinous blow. So, you
   know, mixed emotions of finally justice has been served,
   and secondly, we just killed somebody."

   She couldn’t just leave her stupidity at that and be on
   her way to Shangri La. Here she is on Obama:

   "It’s just fascinating that we have a black man, who has
   Muslim ties to his father, even though he’s a Christian. It’s
   amazing how far our country has come, that that’s the man
   who took down Yosammy ben Layden. It makes you feel
   patriotic. I do think that if it were any other president, I would
   feel different about it.  But he’s one of the most conscious
   people I’ve ever met and I’ve met four presidents, now. He
   walks the walk."

   What an insufferable ass. I apologize for ever tapping my
   foot to one of her tunes. Unbelievably, she wasn’t finished.
   She had to include tea partiers in her astute analysis.

   "They haven’t educated themselves, they’re just pissed off."

   guess the fact that she didn’t finish high school would put
   in the same category, but you have to remember, she’s an
   artist and she’s met four presidents. I’ll bet the time they spent
   talking to her didn’t amount to four minutes.

   Well, now she can concentrate on Omar bin Laden, who has
   emerged from a spidey hole somewhere under the sun, to hold
   Obama responsible for his father’s death and desecration.
   Thanks Umar, now back in your hole.

   What a world we live in…where rubenesque Rosies voice
   their opinions on genocide and the singers of silly songs
   tell us that only a "conscious" president could get credit
   for taking down a stone cold killer. You might also remember
   when a vote for Obama was a message that we were entering
   into a brave new world…the post racial world. Why is it that
   now that he is President, he is always referred to by liberals
   as black?

   Maybe Omar can tell us, while he continues to lead jihad
   against us. We could put him on Al Jezeera TV, in between
   Rosie’s talk show and a Sheryl Crow concert. See the light
   my brothers, see the light!

   Whoops, that was my laser target finder.

   http://www.favoriteformulas.com/numberonefatlosssecret

   I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

   With my best wishes for your optimum health.

   Dr. Bill