Phat Pholks In The News

I thought I’d bring you up to date on a couple of phat guys. Both of
them are film directors and both of them have made millions of
buckaluckas. They also like to act like they’re regular guys, but
that is really stretching the oversize clothing they both favor.

The first phatso is Kevin Smith, who directed “Mallrats,” “Jay and
Silent Bob,” “Jersey Girl,” “Dogma” and some other crap, too. His
hero always wears a ball cap backwards and he favors hockey jerseys
that are too big.

Back about four moons or so, Smith was kicked off a Southwest
Airlines flight for being “too fat.” He blubbered all over
television and to anyone who would listen that this was an outrage
(ie., the fact that he needed two seats to park his phat S). He
garnered some measure of sympathy from all the pholks who list
phattism as one of their causes celebre. (Even I got a shade misty
eyed, for a moment there.)

But then, like most Hollywood A…listers, he kept on talking. The
first thing he wanted everybody to know was that he had lost 65
pounds. When he said that, my bullshizz detector started beeping
like an irritable neighbor’s car alarm at 3 AM. 65 pounds? Just how
phat was he?

I’m looking at the television (allowing for the 10 pounds the camera
puts on you…) and the guy still has to weigh tree fitty, (350),
give or take a six foot hoagie and a 64 ounce Slurpee. The hockey
jersey he’s wearing has got to be a 5X and the ball cap he’s wearing
could double as a baby’s crib, if you turned it over.

As he keeps yapping, we find out why he’s so phat. He admits he’s a
complete and total stoner. And as we all know (everyone except for
him), dieting and smoking weed are not simpatico. Gluttony and
smoking the hippie lettuce are simpatico, but not for losing weight.

So my solution for this phat phocker and his flight problem is
simple. Next time he wants to fly from NY to LA, just crate him up
and ship him as freight.

The second buffet molester is the leftist dirigible, Michael Moore,
who looks like he ate the phat pharm he was supposedly attending. As
I recall, he most recently made another of his phony documentaries
about …healthcare. I think that was the one where he proved beyond
a shadow of a doubt that we’d all be better off following the Cuban
model of healthcare.

Phat Mike’s motto is: All I want is less to do, more time to do it,
longer lunch breaks and higher pay for not getting any work done.

Mumu Moore is now suing the Weinstein brothers, in Hollywood,
alleging they stole back end money from one of his documentaries.
They paid him $25 million, on the back end of that deal, making him
the richest documentarian of all time. That’s the back end, after
paying all the bills, including Mumu’s inflated salary, all his
phantom staffers and the fleet of food trucks at his beck and call,
24/7. How much did Mumu invest in his own project? Zero.

Mumu might have bitten off more than he can chew this time, which is
saying something. The Weinstein brothers might have a permanent
weight loss program he can go on, which involves going into the
Mojave desert…and never coming back. It wouldn’t surprise me if
Mumu is found, one day, with a very large Sagauro cactus where the
moon doesn’t shine.

I don’t have a solution for Mumu, but it’s okay. When you’re
involved in a tussle with the Weinstein brothers, there is no need
for meddling.

All this just goes to prove that having a fistful of dollars doesn’t
mean you’re going to live to enjoy it. If these two make it to 60,
I’m going to be very surprised. But you know, those Havana clinics
are way ahead of the eight ball and I hear they even have Advil now.

You want inspiration? Google up some photos of these phat boys and
put them on your fridge. Then get my book, and get your own fitness
program rolling:

Click here

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

Why Michelle Should Get Oprah To Slim Down

If you haven’t been living under a rock, the last week or so, you
know that the Packers won the Super Bowl, Keith Nowhereman was fired
at MSNBC and Michelle Obama wants to have the government force
restaurants to reduce their portion sizes.

The first two things are okay by me, even though the word on the
street today was that Nowhereman has been hired by Fat Algor’s TV
network. (Where is that playing anyway?)

The third thing…the government forcing restaurants to change the
way they operate, is absolutely idiotic. Are portion sizes too big?
And…if they are…what business is it of the government? According
to Comrade Michelle, everything and anything is government business
and vice versa. I can’t think of any area where the Obama’s won’t
stick their nose. The problem is that they just aren’t very good at
interpeting the smells they find.

Hubby couldn’t figure out that people wanted jobs, which cost him
the House, but it did get rid of Comrade Pelosi, so he probably
considers that a draw. He still has the dim witted old guard around
(Biden and Reid), but even though they can’t shoot straight, it’s
not like Pelosi’s figurative fingernails on the chalkboard.

Getting the government involved in portion control is a whale of a
dumb idea. It won’t work and it may move a lot of the television
chefs into the Republican column.

Let’s say you restrict the amount of chicken wings in an order to 12
ounces (most joints serve a pound). What’s to stop Bubba from
ordering two orders?

Here’s my biggest argument for why this won’t work (aside from
Americans hating to be told what to do, or not do). Most overeating
is done at home, not out in restaurants. Think about it for a
minute. Where does the most junk food get eaten? Home, home and
home.

Last week, Comrade Michelle was on Commissar Oprah’s new network and
I don’t recall they talked about food. (That could be because I let
the wife watch, while I decided to do something productive.) But she
didn’t mention it, so I’m assuming they slobbered all over each
other about something else.

Now, if Comrade Michelle is really serious about slimming folks down
(as I am), she should publicly challenge Commissar Oprah to slim
down. I’m talking about a serious slimming, one where two years from
now, she isn’t as big as a beer cooler again (with apologies to the
beer cooler).

My last point is that we just don’t need the government involved in
this at all and that these super nannies ought to just shut up and
leave us alone.

How about this? Let’s make Comrade Michelle take the BMI test. (It’s
a worthless test, but the government still uses it.) I’m betting she
can’t pass. She may have toned arms, but there’s still plenty of
lard in that butt. When she passes, she gets to be Oprah’s personal
trainer. She gets to be the one who tells Oprah she can’t have
anymore horseradish mashed potatoes. Let’s see how long that lasts.

Then we’ll think about what she’s proposing.

In the meantime, if you want real advice from somebody who has
actually lost weight and kept it off (that would be me), head on
over to:

Click here

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

Will Fasting Hurt My Weight Loss Efforts

Today’s question comes from a reader who has started on the road to
fitness, by employing a number of different strategies to make it
happen. So far, he is down 12 pounds, which is a fine start.

He is exercising a minimum of five days a week and tries to do
something every day. This is perfectly fine, so long as you don’t do
something strenuous every day. Many people walk every day, for
instance, and don’t even really consider that part of their exercise
program. They count what they do, other than walking, as exercise,
like lifting weights, doing bodyweight exercises and so on.

He also has made significant changes in what he eats, eliminating
almost all packaged food and going with protein, fruit and
vegetables. He still eats a couple of Snickers bars and a bag of
pork rinds a week, which isn’t good for you, but let’s remember that
he has lost twelve pounds in five weeks.

He heard about what is called “intermittent fasting,” and wanted to
know if it’s helpful, or harmful.

Now, before I tell you what I think, let me tell you that this is a
very controversial idea in the fitness community, where the
sentiment runs heavily against the idea. All the trainers, diet
experts and nutritionists are heavily invested in regular meals, on
some kind of schedule, and they have a whole laundry list of reasons
why this approach won’t work, or is harmful…and won’t work.

They will tell you that you’ll lose muscle tone, strength, energy…
and that your body will go on the fritz quickly, which can only be
remedied by eating the way they tell you.

By the way…”intermittent fasting” means that you abstain from food
for one or two days a week. (So this definitely is not for
everyone.)

So let’s boil it down for Bubba.

Will it hurt you, or help you?

It certainly won’t hurt you…provided that you’re in pretty good
shape…with no serious health problems, such as diabetes, high
blood pressure, and so on. You could probably do it, even with those
problems, but you definitely need to see your doctor first and get
the okay. (This is common sense, but….)

Will it help?

Last week, I talked about the first rule of weight loss, which
simply put is: In order to lose weight, you must take in fewer
calories than you are taking in at present. I used the 3000 calories
a day figure, dropping the number to 2500, and multiplying out the
number over a year.

So lets apply this to fasting, using one day a week. Let’s assume
you have already dropped your 3000 calories a day to 2500 calories a
day and you’ve been doing this for a while…with no ill effects…
and you’re losing weight. Your net drop in calories is 3500 calories
a week. Now with a fast (for 24 hours), you are dropping another
2500. That’s upping the ante to 6000 calories a week. This certainly
should speed up your weight loss, provided that you do not
overcompensate when you break your fast (ie.,eating over 2500
calories).

Will you lose muscle tone? Will your energy level go down?

No. Tests have shown that none of the things the fitness community
claims will happen…actually do happen. It’s just another in the
long list of “Gym myths,” which are too numerous to count.

So…once you’ve started a good program, like mine, which you can
find at:

Click here

…and you’re doing well (actually losing weight), you might give
this a try, if you’re so inclined. If it works for you, you’ve found
another key to fitness.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

What A Champion We Have In Cheeses

Well…the football season is finally over and the Cheeseheads are
the Champions of the World. (Dust off the old Queen records and
bellow, until you’re hoarse!) It was a spectacle even poor dead
Freddie Mercury would have loved.

Jerry Jones may not know how to win a Super Bowl, but he sure can
throw a shindig as big as Texas. I vote that all Super Bowls be held
in Dallas, at least until somebody else builds a place to play like
Jerry’s House. Since I don’t think that will be anytime soon…let’s
just keep it there.

The Packers played as if Lombardi himself was on the sideline and I
think I saw him once or twice during the game. This was a team that
faced even more adversity than the old ball coach’s teams from the
sixties. Sixteen players sent to Injured Reserve during the season
and then, they lost two big time players during the game.

The Steelers were definitely on the move in the third and fourth
quarters, but Limburger Matthews got up close and personal with
Rashard Mendenhall and out popped the rock. Most people can take a
lot of punishment, but smelling some ripe Limburger will cause you
to lose control of your faculties, for at least a few seconds, as
your brain tries to process what that unfathomable stench is.
Matthews looks like he is a real Limburger aficianado, like maybe he
throws a few chunks in his bath, to relax. It’s no wonder Mendenhall
blinked.

Alright, that’s enough boursin around, because I’m not very gouda at
it.

Now that football season is officially over, it’s time to get your S
in high gear and make some progress in the war against flubber.

Get my ebook on how you can win the battle of the bulge:

Click here

You got nuttin’ to do for months…except improve yourself.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

Why Her Reality Check Bounced

Somewhere in the vortex of all the information out there about diet,
there are a couple of simple truths. They tend to get lost in all
the different theories, strategems, diet books and just plain bad
information.

Back many years ago, when the Food Network started, all the shows
had chefs who had come up through the ranks and really knew what
they were talking about. Today, most of the real chefs are gone and
the shows have hosts, or what is referred to in the industry as
talent. Basically, it means that the host is telegenic and has a
high Q score (good teeth…).

In the old days, you could actually learn things about cooking. Now
…not so much.

So I admit…it can be hard to separate the shizz from the shinola,
simply because of the sheer volume of shizz. But here is a simple
truth:

If you want to lose weight, you have to eat less than you did
before.

There is no getting around it, if you want to be successful.

It doesn’t matter if you eat six times a day, high carb, low carb,
meat, meatless, even if you’re a fruitarian. What it boils down to
is that, if you maintain your weight by eating 3000 calories a day
and you want to lose weight, you will need to lower the 3000 to
2900, or less. That’s called calorie restriction and nobody wants to
talk about it.

It all goes back to the old marketing saw that says: “You can sell
any diet in the world as long as you tell folks they can eat pizza,
pie and cake.” And if you read 99% of the diet books and diets, they
all follow this rule, as if it were biblical.

One of our readers fell hard for this nonsense, and said in an
email, “This stuff doesn’t work…what do I do?”

Here’s some advice.

1) Keep a diary of what you eat and don’t leave things out.

2) Add up the caloric value of the food. There are all sorts of
tools on the internet and even phone apps that will help you do
this. After two weeks, average out the numbers (calories per day)

3) Decide what you can cut (like that 400 calorie Slurpee, or 800
calorie moccachino)

4) Mix in some form of exercise.

If you’re averaging 3000 calories a day and you drop to 2500, that’s
a great start. That’s 3500 calories a week, or 14,000 calories a
month you’re getting rid of. In a year, thats…ah…168,000
calories in a year, and most folks could do that easily, with a
minimum of effort.

https://www.favoriteformulas.com?awt_l=GnZNU&awt_m=1ZTvbUYSNIz2rW

But you won’t lose a pound, if you don’t eat a little less than you
do now.

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill

Am I Becoming A Fattist

Over the weekend, I paid a visit to COSTCO, because I needed some
printer ink and some fruits and vegetables, to go along with my
Greek yogurt. It was a very busy day at the farm, as they say. I
knew this, because I had to wait a minute or two for a cart, so I
could go in.

I found the printer ink right away and then headed for the fruits
and vegetables. This area of the store was quite congested and it
wasn’t just the number of people. It was the number of people, plus
huge body mass. Now in my previous life as a fat focker, I probably
didn’t notice this at all.

But sadly…or not…I am becoming a fattist, or a fatistador, to
make it sound better.

(A fattist is a person who is prejudiced against fat people, in the
new politically correct lexicon.)

Now, I DO understand when you have to sit next to a buffet molester
on a plane. That isn’t a pleasant experience, at all. The only thing
that could make it worse…and you may be wondering just exactly
what could make it worse…but it can be worse. One time, while
flying from NY to Orlando, I was squeezed in next to a whale walker
…with gas–enough gas to fire a fleet of delivery trucks. I can’t
even begin to describe the air quality on that flight, but had we
landed in the ocean he could have kept the plane from sinking, all
by himself.

Now, plane seats are one thing. But when your behind is capable of
shutting down an aisle at COSTCO, then you have a real problem. It
seemed that everywhere I turned my cart, another jumbo jiggler was
blocking my progress. When I managed to get past a couple of them, I
looked at what was in their carts, in passing.

Donut Dolly had six cases of soda on the bottom of her cart. It was
topped by giant sized bags of various snack foods, then topped off
with pastries and muffins and pizza. I don’t think you could have
found a fruit, or vegetable in there, with a seeing eye dog.

30% of all Americans are seriously overweight.

Not ten pounds overweight, but at least thirty pounds overweight.

I used to be one of them, so I know, firsthand.

I started offering my special report on babablubber last year and
it’s flying off the electronic shelves, as I write this. You can get
that report at:

Click here

To customers of that report, I offer a special “7 Day Fast Start”
with recipes I have used over the last year or so, to get the flab
off and keep it off.

As I was wandering around COSTCO, I was trying to guess what the
cholesterol level of some of these flabbinators might be. 400? 500?
I remember a story about a very witty intern in the hospital, in New
York, who…when asked what the cholesterol level of a patient was,
during rounds, replied, “DOA.”

The time to get your own health plan started is NOW. Start eating
right, getting some exercise and getting your chubbalicious self
under control. To get your cholesterol under control, you might want
to give my Cholesterol Crushing Combo a whirl:

https://www.favoriteformulas.com/crushyourcholesterol?awt_l=GnZNU&awt_m=1eCuLtYDpIz2rW

I’ll be back tomorrow with more.

With my best wishes for your optimum health,

Dr. Bill