Suppository Legacies

Last night, I spoke with another doctor with whom I went to medical school, many moons ago. He was a very funny guy–so funny, in fact, that I couldn’t be in his study group…because his sense of humor broke my powers of concentration too often.

He was the proverbial thorn in the teaching faculty’s side. Whenever their droning got to be unbearable, and this was often, he would prick that balloon and send the poor instructor flying, and scrambling for some kind of retort. The instructors were not very good at the art of verbal sparring, but they could be vindictive, so you didn’t want to be standing right next to him, when they lost their cool.

He and I were assigned to a very strait-laced legacy instructor, for a few months. A legacy is the son, or grandson, of a grandfather, or father, who was an alumnus of this particular medical school. They’re sometimes not even really good doctors, but they sure are full of themselves. This guy was about a “C” as a doctor, but his ego was an “A++.”

A woman came to us who had a problem with her butt. The instructor brusquely asked her a few questions and prescribed suppositories.

The next week she was back, and her problem was even worse. The instructor repeated his previous performance.

The next week she was back again, and now, her a$$ was inflamed. The instructor was baffled, and wrote a scrip, sending her to a proctologist.

This is where my friend butted in (you should pardon the expression), and asked for permission to do
his own examination. The instructor told him, “Sure…do your own exam, and be sure to double check on all my patients.”

My friend was nonplussed and took the woman into an exam room.

A few minutes later I could could hear him laughing, and laughing, and then I heard the woman laughing. The laughter went on and on, and then he came out of the exam room. He gave me the high sign, and we retreated to a stairwell, where he kept laughing.

Finally he calmed down enough to tell the story.

The instructor has told the woman to take “these things” and put them where the moon don’t shine.

The woman wasn’t exactly a rocket scientist, and he needed to be a tetch more friendly in his instructions. The suppositories came in packets, much like how Nyquil is packaged today. The woman broke off a suppository, then put it where it was supposed to go…but without taking it out of the packaging!

OUCH!

As you might expect, we didn’t leave the stairwell for quite a while, and when we did, our instructor was not amused. He did however, make a mistake when he asked my friend how his diagnosis went. We were standing in the middle of the crowded hall, and he demanded the story.

What he got was a comedy routine that rivaled anything I have ever seen, with my friend playing all the roles. It drew quite a crowd, and when the punchline came, the roars were so loud you would have thought a pride of lions had just descended.

After that incident, our legacy instructor pretty much left us on our own, and gave us high marks, to boot. The story pretty much became a legend in the hospital, and was told to every last intern who crossed paths there.

The lesson here is that we could save ourselves a lot of toil, time, and trouble if we just read the instructions.

Those suppositories had instructions in the box.

The doctor’s advice could have been better.

But then, we wouldn’t have had this great story.

You Want A Singer

I was listening to a story told by one of the speakers at my weekend seminar on Saturday, and she told of teaching at a seminar of very sick people a few years ago. There were around 75 of them gathered, and almost all of them smoked.

The speaker likened the seminar to teaching in the middle of an ashtray. She also felt that very few of the people were listening to her message of hope and healing. At some point, she pointed out that none of them had a chance in hell of healing as long as they smoked.

At the end of one of her days, she was approached by a woman who said, “What if I only smoke two cigarettes a day?”

The speaker said that when she heard the woman’s question, she saw her death.

The point that she was trying to make was that sometimes the answer to your questions is right in front of your face, but because you are fixated on something else, you can’t see, hear, or think clearly.

As a doctor, you give lots of advice, but the numbers of those who actually heed your advice are very low indeed. Those who do listen and then act, get results and often get tremendous results. But not enough people listen.

My ultra pure deep water pharmaceutical grade fish oil, Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula, can get you great results, but only if you take it. Talking about it doesn’t do the job, and putting it off doesn’t do it, either. And buying cheap, industrial fish oil at the grocery store, or big box store, can make matters worse.

You need to make a decision about your health and then, ACT.

Here’s a story that I think illustrates my point.

In an upscale Brooklyn pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. “I want to buy a canary, but it’s got to be a real good singer. I’ve got good, hard U.S. cash, but I’m only paying for a good singer.”

The shop owner began moving a ladder towards a small cage on a shelf about 15 feet up, near the ceiling of the store. “Ma’am, I’m forty years in this business. In that cage is the best singer I’ve ever had.”

“Don’t think I’m going to be obligated to pay for something I don’t want, just because you’re climbing up a ladder like a monkey. I want a canary, but it’s got to be the best singer.”

By this point, the shop keeper was coming down the ladder. “Ma’am, this bird is a veritable feathered Caruso!” Placing the cage on the counter, the bird burst into melody after melody.

Awed, the woman murmured, “This bird is a really good singer.”

Suddenly she screamed at the shop owner, “Hey, what’s with you? This bird only has one leg!”

The shop owner was unperturbed, saying, “Lady, what do you want…a singer…or a dancer?”

Make the right choice where your health is concerned, and get Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula, today.

Ain’t No Such Thing As A Slimming Tattoo

I had to go to California last Thursday for a conference, and just returned home late last night. I heard from a number of very interesting people at the gathering, who spoke on any number of health related topics.

It was great to go to a place where the weather was darn near perfect, 72 degrees, with just a hint of a breeze, and absolutely no humidity. It’s no wonder that they need six lanes of freeway on each side of the road. I didn’t feel much like boarding the plane yesterday afternoon, but here I am.

With the weather that good, you can imagine that shorts and tank tops were the rule, and not the exception, like here. One thing I did notice there was that almost everybody has a tattoo. Walking down one popular street I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of tattoos. And let me tell you, every tattoo artist is not Rembrandt.

In point of fact, some of the tattoos were more Jackson Pollock than Van Gogh (not that there’s anything wrong with Jackson Pollock…on a canvas other than a human body.) The term that I came up with was “bad exterior decorating,” and there was plenty to go around.

But the thing that really got to me was the “heavies” and their tattoos. If you really want folks to know you’re fat, get a tattoo. It’s kinda like announcing your problem to everyone within a hundred yards or so.

Now I also thought of the word “contest” while taking in the sites, and my friend agreed. We started keeping track of some of the more colorful tattoos on our watch, and to make a long story short, we were standing at a corner, in front of a very famous restaurant, and a whale walker rolls by.

Let me explain.

A very large woman, probably going 275+, with one of those mini mutts on a leash, and she had a …WHALE…tattooed on her back.

At which point my friend uttered, “Do you think it makes her look slimmer?”

It took me 10 minutes to recover from that.

And the answer is no, No, NO.

Ain’t no such thing as a slimming tattoo.

But I am certain she wasn’t taking Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula, which would get her started on the road to recovery.

I’m speaking about her health here, because that tattoo is forever, and even with my surgical skills, the only thing to be done there is order a new canvas, which might take several donors.

When you are seriously overweight you are many, many times more likely to develop diseases which can kill you, or cripple you.

Fish oil is a starting point, the foundation of any good health plan. And my Powerhouse Omega Formula is the Mercedes of pharmaceutical grade fish oil. There are others…and then there is Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula.

Just remember to eat right, exercise, and take your fish oil. If you want a tattoo…fine…just keep in mind it doesn’t work like Spanks.

Pharmaceutical Grade Fish Oil and Chinese Medicine

Yesterday, I ventured off the beaten path a bit, and spent a few hours listening to some audio CD’s on what is called “energy medicine.” This is something that Chinese and other Asian doctors have known about for around 5000 years, but it is little known by the American public.

It isn’t completely unknown, but the average American doesn’t know much about it, and what they do know is often wrong. The one thing the public does know about is acupuncture, which became known during the Nixon administration, and has developed into a sizable medical industry.

Today, Chinese doctors are schooled in Eastern and Western Medicine, giving them a host of remedies for what ails you.

The basic text for Chinese medicine is called the Big Yellow Book, and has been used for…5000 years. Anything that has been around that long must work, and more American doctors could be schooled in herbs and natural remedies.

My Powerhouse Omega Formula is not Chinese, but it does owe a debt of gratitude to the Chinese, because it’s an all natural formula that has few known side effects. That’s one of the huge positives about Eastern Medicine, that the all natural remedies don’t cause any more problems, which is often the case with synthetic medicines, or drugs. How many times are patients given a drug that causes more problems, and they they are prescribed another drug to deal with the side effects of the first one?

Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula is an ultra pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil, made from small, low-on-the-food chain, deep water fish. Because it’s been distilled by a special process,it does not contains any PCB’s or mercury, or any other industrial pollutants.

I’ve been working on our next products, and we should have the next one ready in a week or so. It will be the second product in what will eventually be a line of several products, dealing with the heart. Then, I’ll move on to other areas, as fast as I can. Your input, on the surveys we sent out, is very much appreciated.

Will Red Meat Kill You Sooner…Or Later?

After listening to the so called health news yesterday, I had to shake my head a bit. I was in my easy chair, contemplating the important work of completing my taxes when the “red meat” segment came on, no doubt firing up vegetarians, fruitarians, and others who have made this silly claim for years.

Now a doctor had put his name behind this study, and so it was big news, and was blaring from every channel, and I’m sure it was in all the newspapers (the ones that are left anyway).

One of the reasons that newspapers, and news organizations, are dying on the vine is really going unreported. They no longer print facts, they just rush any old thing into print, or on to television, and if it’s right fine, if not, well…that’s fine too. People just got tired of reading the opinions of people who didn’t really know what they were talking about. As they say around Obamaland, “Don’t let the facts get in the way of the theme.”

So this study comes out and says “don’t eat more than 18 ounces of red meat a week.” That’s 3 hamburgers in the backyard, or 4 at McDonald’s. Nobody listed any other factors, like exercise, or weight, or age, or where they live, or what the traditional diet is.

It’s hard to interpet all this information at times.

We’re not supposed to eat fish because of mercury.

We’re not supposed to eat chicken because they aren’t walking the barnyard yearning to breathe free.

Now beef and pork are going to kill us early.

What’s left? Only vegetables and fruits from expensive organic grocery stores. I’m sure that makes PETA happy, but it doesn’t cut the mustard with me. The President may like arugula, but I don’t, and neither do most of my friends.

Now, you shouldn’t eat red meat for every meal, although many folks I know think this is the ideal diet. The reality is most people don’t eat this way in the first place.

But I will say this: If you are eating processed food full of transfats and high fructose corn syrup, you are much worse off than if you eat red meat for every meal, every day of your life.

Your body is in much better shape to process the red meat than it is to process all the artificial ingredients in all the food products that are on the market.

Should you eat red meat, or packaged waffles?
(Red meat.)

Should you eat red meat, or Cap’n Crunch cereal?
(Red meat.)

Should you eat red meat, or Green Giant cauliflower
in special sauce? (Red meat.)

Red meat, or Coke? (Red meat.)

It’s funny to think that the Chinese have been eating meat for quite a while, and they don’t have all the heart disease we do.

That is until recently, when all kinds of artificial food products started being distributed there (think potato chips, cheetos, pizza, Coke). They are also experiencing an obesity problem for the first time, and it isn’t being caused by red meat.

Red meat is way, way, way down the list of what we should stop eating, if we should stop eating it at all.

Protein is after all, what makes us tick.

And if you want your ticker to function better, you can add my Powerhouse Omega Formula to your daily routine. Ultra pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil will deliver what the pizza delivery boys can’t, and that’s an improvement in your overall health.

That’s a fact, and results pour in daily from all over the world with regard to the benefits of taking fish oil on a regular basis.

You’ll be glad you did, and your occasional steak or burger will be that much better.

Presidential Exercise Double Standard

I just read an article that says President Obama works out 6 days a week for 45 minutes, and this doesn’t count the time he spends playing basketball. W used to work out every day too, and somehow liberals managed to criticize him for it.

According to what he said on Jay Leno, the new President has also managed to sneak in bowling, too. Maybe he should invite Paul Krugman down from his pedestal, to bowl a few frames with him. A little of the common man might actually rub off on Krugman. Come to think of it, let’s invite Frank Rich and Maureen Dowd too, and I’ll give a dollar to charity for every point over 129 the President bowls, and a dollar for every point over 100 the rest of them bowl. I’m dropping the score for the others, because the only things they’re good at exercising are their mouths.

It’s a good thing the new President is following in the steps of the old President by working out. It’s no secret that this may be the most stressful job in the world.

All you need to prove this theory are photos of Inauguration Day, and photos from the last day in office. The pictures tell the story. This theory gets a little fuzzy with Carter, who looked like a doofus all the time…but with the other Presidents, it does bear out.

Many people tell me that they don’t have time to exercise.

What? Are you busier than the President?

Others tell me it’s too expensive.

Since when did anybody start charging for walking?

Then, there are those who think no one will support them.

Do it yourself.

Then I hear “I don’t know how!”

Today there are literally thousands of places you can go for help, and a whole bunch of them are free of charge.

NO WHINING ALLOWED! Get started.

If Presidents from two different parties with two different agendas can work out, so can you. It doesn’t cost anything to get started, and you can form your own support group, and dig up all the information you need all by your lonesome.

What will help you get an early edge is taking an ultra pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil, like Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula.

Now this does cost some money, but in order to be a success you have to invest in yourself, and this is a darn good way to do that. Medical professionals are finding more and more reasons to take pharmaceutical grade fish oil every day, and I tell those stories right here on a regular basis.

Order your fish oil now, and stop whining that you can’t get things done. If you start now, you can be 10 pounds healthier by 1 June.

Push Away From The Table

My good friend Nate Rifkin has a story in his book, “Your Marriage Is Making You Fat…and 25 Other Fat Loss Secrets That Diet Experts Don’t Have The Balls To Admit,” that is very funny.

Actually, the whole book is very funny, but it might offend some people with its frankness, so I’m just going to give you a sample.

“One day in college, I was eating a meal with a couple of annoying women who lived in the same dorm as me.

After they finished dinner, they both went back to get some ice cream…and they went together for moral support. (Remember what I said about your friends and fitness level?)

As I watched, I realized that they did this just about EVERY DAY. Together. To make themselves “guilt free,” since they weren’t alone.

A couple of weeks later, one of the girls asked me what exercises she could do to tone up her stomach area…which had grown a bit.

I said, “Do sit-downs.”

“What are sit-downs?” she asked, getting very curious.

“Well,” I explained, “Sit-downs are when you’re about to get up out of your chair to go get some ice cream…and instead you…SIT DOWN!”

The chick was not pleased with my answer.”

That’s Nate, and he’s an acquired taste, but he has a point.

Way too many people over eat. They go way past the point of being full, and keep on eating. And what they eat after they are full is not really good for them, especially if they do it every day.

Years ago a friend of mine discovered Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream, which is good stuff. He was putting away a pint every day, and soon was about 15 pounds heavier.

What he didn’t realize was that one pint of Ben and Jerry’s had about 1600 calories, and he was adding these calories after he was already full. It’s little wonder he started packing on the pounds.

I helped right his ship by getting him to push away from the table early, and to cut way down on the Ben and Jerry’s.

He also started on fish oil, which helped him get his metabolism moving in the right direction. A lot of folks have trouble losing weight in the beginning of their fitness plan, and then they start taking Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula, an ultra pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil, which seems to send a clear signal to your body to “get with the program”, and then the weight starts dropping off.

Does the fish oil do this by itself? No. It’s the synergy of all the things you’re doing: Eating better, exercising some, and taking fish oil.

You can make gains just by eating better and exercising, but study after study is proving that those who do all three things, eating better, exercising, and taking fish oil, fare far better than those who don’t.

And when it comes to serious medical incidents, those who take fish oil fare 50% better than those that don’t.

So do some push ups, push away from the table, and push the order button for some of the world’s best fish oil.

5 Tips On How To Lose Fat

Well…the President made an appearance on Jay Leno, where he was trying to be your everyday hardworking executive, and he did okay, if you like your President on late night television.

Except for the gaffe about bowling like a Special Olympian. That’s one of the reasons you don’t do late night TV–the temptation to be an actor, or comedian is just too great, and Obama really wanted to bring down the house.

Now go into your crystal ball and try to imagine if Sarah Palin told that story, or Rush Limbaugh. We would have heard how terrible it was 100 times by now, and everybody in the western world would have been scolding the teller. But this isn’t the case with the current President, because all the media are deep in the tank for this guy, even if his numbers don’t make sense, the people he hires aren’t qualified, or the holdovers in his party are outright criminals, like Senator Dodd, Congressmen Frank, Rangel, and Murtha.

And then there is Speaker of the House Pelosi, meeting with illegal immigrants, and telling them what “patriots” they are–like she would know. Pelosi comes from a bankrupt state, and one of the things that put the state in the drink was the cost of free health care for illegals. And with Obama we get more of the same. Not only will these people not pay any taxes, they’ll get benefits denied to those who work hard and play by the rules. Change you can believe in, right?

So, let’s talk about something else.

In order to lose weight…you have to lose fat. In order to lose fat…you have to elevate your metabolism. So here are some simple fat loss tips.

1) Drink a lot of water. Water…not Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or any other sugar laden beverage. That would include a lot of so called fitness drinks. Your body needs about 16 ounces of water every two hours while your are awake. If you are involved in vigorous exercise you need to up the ante on the water considerably, going as high as a gallon an hour, if you are exercising in the heat.

2) Eat six to eight times a day, starting with when you wake up. I would eat something right upon waking, even if you work out early. It doesn’t have to be a full meal, just get something in the system. This can be done by using 3 meals/3 snacks or 2 meals/5 snacks…whatever works best for you. But don’t skip breakfast or lunch. Skipping meals is one of the worst things you can do, if you’re trying to lose weight.

3) Focus on high quality foods. This doesn’t include Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut. Make sure you get high quality protein, and stay away from all low fat and no fat products, which are loaded with sugar. Consume the rainbow, as far as fruits and vegetables are concerned, and make sure that includes at least one green item at every meal.

4) Take high quality supplements, such as my Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula, which is an ultra pure, deep water, small fish pharmaceutical grade fish oil, that will increase your metabolism and generate increased fat burning.

5) Increase your fiber intake and decrease your sugar. Get a list of high fiber fruits and vegetables, and make sure you are getting a good share of them in your diet.

A friend of mine recently dropped about 25 pounds, and one of the things he told me was, “Bill…I just can’t tell you how important increasing my water intake was. I started off drinking a gallon of water a day, and it was like the first 15 pounds just fell off. And once that first 15 pounds was gone, I started sleeping better, and…”

His goal is 40 pounds, and he’ll make it easily, following just a few special concepts.

Obama, Bong Water, and Fish Oil

If you’re a basketball fan, you probably saw the President’s brackets on the news yesterday, in which he chastised North Carolina for “disappointing” him last year, and picking them to win, again this year.

This didn’t sit very well with Duke’s Coach K, who opined that “maybe the President ought to pay more attention to the economy, and leave bracketology to others.”

Hear, hear!

The President is a big basketball fan, he plays  the game, and according to many, is quite  knowledgeable about the teams, and the tournament. That’s all fine and dandy, but we don’t need to  know his tournament picks, and he may have doomed North Carolina’s hope of winning by putting undue pressure on the kids who play in powder blue.

And Coach K is absolutely right that he ought to be worrying more about the dreadful state of the economy, and less about appearing on the “Tonight Show” and bracketology. And maybe he could use some time to practice giving a speech without a teleprompter, because all that headcranking is starting to make me dizzy.

Many studies, including ones released by the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, and the  American Heart Journal, state that the omega-3’s in pharmaceutical grade fish oil have far reaching, previously unknown health benefits.

One of those benefits is reducing inflammation. Now comes word from European sports medicine  experts that omega-3 fatty acids, such as those in Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula, help reduce the inflammation that causes muscle and joint soreness. This discovery prompted many Olympic athletes, who competed in Beijing, to recover faster after their workouts and races, by using a pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil.

The Germans dubbed pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil as the Official Supplement of the German  Olympic Team, and many European athletes, who used pure pharmaceutical grade fish oil, enjoyed great success at the Olympic Games.

I don’t know if Michael Phelps used, or uses fish oil… but you could certainly get much better results for yourself with my Powerhouse Omega Formula…than you would with Bongwater, which to my knowledge, doesn’t contain any omega-3 fatty acids, and is detrimental to your health and well being, no matter WHAT the “health experts” in San Fransisco are saying.

Acai, WuYi, Or Fish Oil?

Every day when I open my email I have at least 25 messages about diet, or diet related products.  This morning for instance, I had messages about Acai, Fucoslim, WuYi Tea, 4 different colon cleanses, and so on and such forth.

But the best of the lot was diet advice from a body building site in the U.K. Now, I have seen my share of bodybuilders over the years, mostly to give advice on repairing hips and knees blown out by…how do I say this…egregious abuse of the human body. Most of these injuries occurred in pursuit of the perfect quadricep, or calf  muscle, or some other such nonsense.

It seems bodybuilders believe almost any nonsense printed about how to get lean and strong, none of which they really are. If you don’t believe me, somewhere on YouTube there is video of a 60 year old man racing, (100 yards), a big name bodybuilder, who is gassed at forty yards.

The guest blogger at this website recommended in his post boiling all the chicken and beef that you eat, to get rid of the sugars that might still be lurking there.

Whoa!

I don’t know about you, but when I’m eating  beef I certainly don’t want it boiled. Now I realize that you poach chicken for a chicken salad at times, but boiled chicken and beef is just an invitation to diet disaster.

That’s why I like the word moderate (except if the next word is Republican). You start getting in shape by making small changes, like eliminating  excess sugar in your diet. You can do that by eliminating soda from your diet. Then Fruit Loops. Cutting back on ice cream. But I guarantee you, boiling your beef to get rid of a micro trace of sugar isn’t going to help you at all.

What WILL help you is supplementing your diet with my deep water, small fish, ultra pure  pharmaceutical grade fish oil, Dr. Bill’s Powerhouse Omega Formula. I can almost guarantee that if  you’re taking my fish oil every day you’ll have the power to realize that some people in the diet industry are just flat out nuts. And this guy, now matter how well intentioned, is one of them.

Now, I can just imagine someone writing in telling me all about a wonderful boiled dinner they had once in some remote corner of the globe. I had one once too, in some part of France. And on that particular day it was good, and so was the Gateau St. Honore that went with it. And I think there was some champagne involved, too.

But that was once, and someone superb was doing the cooking. I doubt that they made that dinner  every day, or boiled all their beef and chicken every day. You won’t either.

So my advice is too stay away from extremes, and do what you’re capable of doing on that particular day. That’s the way babies do it, one step at a time. And don’t you know, pretty soon, not only can they walk, but run too.